was drip-drip-dripping on me from the stowaway above. I asked several times for the flight attendant to attend to it, but she gave up and started ignoring me. She was too frustrated with the screaming child to care. The elderly Indian woman next to me on the aisle puked in her hands and flung the rest of it on the aisle. I was close to joining her from the smell. The plane landed.
My traveling companions and I to a lesser extent, found an artistic muse in what we called the ‘trash cow.’ This is the sacred cow of Hinduism which roams the streets while backing up traffic gorging itself on human refuse. Several times I had the enjoyment to witness whole plastic trash bags slurped down by the sacred cow in a matter of seconds.
This is the stage and setting for the majority of my experience in India. Throw in some overwhelming scammy people, human suffering, abject poverty and you’ll have a perfect recipe for New Delhi. Yes, if you go to India be prepared to be treated as a walking buffoon who is easily bilked of their savings account.
In Agra, the city where Taj Mahal is located, at our hostel I met the holy patron saint of scammers who we affectionately referred to as Cheaterman. Unbeknownst to me, Cheaterman would save plastic water bottles and refill them with tap water to save a whopping 20 rupees. One night after drinking alcohol I was exceptionally thirsty and chugged down two liters of delicious Cheaterman tap water. The next day I became king of the hostel restroom. No one could dethrone me. His story ends here, but let us say I could write a book on his scams.
Nestled in the northern Himalayas with villages to explore and mountains to climb one will find Kashmir. It is laden with ancient breathtaking monasteries and mech sized Buddha statues. I expected these giant statues to stand up at any given moment, turn on the jet blasters, and fly off into outer space. When and if this happens I shall be fully converted to Buddhism.